“it finally helped get them to come out and spend time with us.”
Somebody, seattle · Ask again the person who always says no · 24 minutes ago
Something specific you can do today.
Not a vague wish to be kinder. One act, with the reason it lands. If the hard week belongs to someone you know, send them the page instead.
One thing, today
Ask again the person who always says no
People who decline every invitation are usually not uninterested. Often they are waiting to be asked a fourth time.
Rated higher · 1 person rated this
- 5 minutes
- Free
- A neighbor
Answer if you want. It changes which ideas are shown first.
Tomorrow this card is Make the introduction you keep meaning to make. Skipping a day leaves no gap to fill.
“A friend of mine invited me to her anniversary and I forgot to commit I felt awkward to send her a message. I finally sent her a note.”
Not this one? Three questions and we will pick, or browse the whole library.
If this one is not yours
The next act in a situation, the question that has waited longest, or a task somebody has already named.
Next in When someone is new here
Asking once, and then getting it right, is a small and permanent signal of whether they matter here.
Learn to say their name properly
The question that has waited longest
Asked 13 days ago.
Help
Support local business that maybe going out of business in tolt, carnation
From anywhere · 1 person offered · 1 place
What people wrote
A sentence from someone who did the thing.
“Asked the colleague to stay and have lunch with us again..”
Somebody · Ask again the person who always says no · 7 hours ago
“A friend of mine invited me to her anniversary and I forgot to commit I felt awkward to send her a message. I finally sent her a note.”
Somebody · Answer the message you have been avoiding · 15 hours ago
2 chains are being passed from person to person right now, and the longest has reached 3 people.
Things you can do this week
Nothing here needs a crisis, a free weekend or anybody's permission.
- When someone is new hereSay plainly that you are glad they cameSaid plainly and out loud, on a day when they are not sure. Ten seconds.
- When you are the one who got it wrongApologize without explaining yourselfThe single most common way an apology fails. Everything after "but" is a defense, and it converts the whole thing into an argument.
- When the child is not yoursSay something kind to a parent having a bad timeA parent in the middle of a public meltdown is certain that everyone is judging them. Almost everyone is sympathetic and silent.
- When the place was not built for themAsk before you help, then do what they sayThe rule the rest of this page assumes. Helping without asking is not a smaller version of helping.
- When you want to start somethingBe the one who actually books itEveryone agrees they should meet up. Groups die at the step where somebody names a date.
- When you are the one with moreTell someone what you actually earnPay secrecy is maintained by people like you staying quiet, and it costs whoever knows least.
Open one. The page can be sent to the person who needs it, or printed onto a single sheet.
When someone is going through something
The ones people most want to help with and least know how to. Written plainly, because vagueness is what stops anybody acting.
- When someone has died
- When someone is caring for someone
- When someone is ill
- When someone is on their own
- When money is the problem
- When the paperwork is the problem
Closer to home, and past people
The people you go home to
Nothing here needs a crisis or a stranger. These are the people who see you at your worst and get the least of your best.
Not only people
Kind things with a recipient who cannot thank you, tell anybody, or know it was you.
Where it has reached
Choose a dot to open a country, or a line to open a chain that has already left where it started.
A dot is a country. A line is a chain that left where it started. Choose one to look closer.
See what is near you instead of all of it.
If today is the wrong day
This is not a habit to keep up. Most of what is here is for a particular week in somebody’s life.
October · The people you see every week
Day 6: Be a reliable adult for a child who is not yours
Every resilient childhood account includes at least one adult outside the family who was consistently there.
The same page next year. Nothing on it resets.
A date you already know
Keep it, and the right acts show up
A death, a new job, the weeks after an operation. The name stays on this device. A signed-in account can keep the date.
Keep a date →
Hand it to the person who needs it
Two ways, and they ask different things of the person who receives them.
Send the situation
Open the page for what they are going through and send it. No account. This site never learns who received it.
Pass on what you did
After you have done something, you can give it a name and hand the name on. Mark today’s act, and that name is on the card. Whoever does the same thing adds themselves. Nothing follows them if they do not.
There is a great deal more
What people are doing this week
Learn to say their name properly
People with unfamiliar names spend their lives being mispronounced and told it does not matter.
5 minutesFreeA stranger1 person did this
Answer the message you have been avoiding
The longer a reply is owed the harder it gets, and the person waiting has usually assumed something worse than the truth.
5 minutesFreeA friend1 person did this
There is one email a month — a themed month, a few things for the situations you care about, and one sentence somebody wrote. No images, no tracking, and a link in every edition that erases your address completely.