Ask an older person what they used to do
Retired people are asked about their health and their grandchildren. Almost nobody asks what they were good at.
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Why it lands
Work is where most people spent forty years and built whatever competence they were proudest of, and retirement erases it from conversation almost immediately. The questions that replace it — how are you keeping, how are the family — position someone as a recipient of concern rather than a person with expertise. Asking about the work restores the version of them that was capable, which is the version they miss.
How
Ask something that requires real knowledge rather than a summary: not “what did you do?” but “what was the hardest part of that job?” or “what did people always get wrong about it?” Then follow up on the detail, which is what proves you were actually listening.
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