Talk to the child who is not performing
At any family gathering one child holds the room and another is under the table with a book.
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The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
Attention in a group of children distributes by volume, which means the quiet one is repeatedly overlooked by adults who are not being unkind, only following the noise. That child often has the most to say and the least practice at being listened to. Going to them specifically, on their terms, is noticed disproportionately by exactly the person least likely to seek it out.
How
Sit near them rather than summoning them, and ask about the thing in their hands. Accept short answers without filling the gaps. Do not comment on their quietness, which is the thing they have heard from every adult all day.
Answer if you want. It changes which ideas are shown first.
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