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Kind things to do for a friend
For people you already love and probably tell less often than you think. A surprising number of these are about saying a specific thing rather than doing a big one.
Showing 1–30 of 99 ideas
Answer the message you have been avoiding
The longer a reply is owed the harder it gets, and the person waiting has usually assumed something worse than the truth.
5 minutesFreeA friend1 person did this
Rated higher · 1 person rated this
Keep sending the birthday card after the divorce
Children lose half their extended family in a separation, usually without anyone deciding that should happen.
5 minutesUnder $10A friend1 person did this
Not rated yet
Read the book your teenager is reading
It gives you a subject that is not school, not their friends and not anything they have to defend.
OngoingUnder $10A friend
Not rated yet
Give money without making it a loan
A loan between friends creates a debt that outlasts the need. A gift, clearly stated, does not.
5 minutesMore than $10A friend
Not rated yet
Find the subscriptions someone forgot about
Most households pay for several things nobody uses. Finding them is an hour's work and a permanent saving.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Offer somewhere quiet without making it a thing
Loud rooms are genuinely painful for some people, and asking for quiet in a group is socially expensive.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Let a child finish the sentence
Adults complete children's sentences constantly, and the child learns that their version was not worth waiting for.
5 minutesFreeA friend4 people did this
Not rated yet
Make leaving early unremarkable
Chronic illness, anxiety and pain all mean sometimes going home. The hard part is having to explain in front of everyone.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Go to the thing even though it is dull
The assembly, the match, the recital. Children scan the audience, and they are counting.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Learn the names of your child's friends
Knowing who is who turns 'how was school' into a conversation that can actually go somewhere.
5 minutesFreeA friend1 person did this
Not rated yet
Buy the thing they would never buy themselves
People under financial pressure cut the small pleasures first, and those are the ones that hold a life together.
5 minutesMore than $10A friend
Not rated yet
Let a child overhear you praising them
Praise reported to a third party is believed in a way that praise delivered directly is not.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Tell a freelancer what the going rate is
People new to freelancing price from fear. One honest number from someone established resets it permanently.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Look, the tenth time they ask
A child asking you to watch the same trick again is asking whether they are still interesting to you.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Teach a child something genuinely useful
Changing a tire, wiring a plug, making one good meal. Competence is a form of confidence that lasts.
An afternoonUnder $10A friend
Not rated yet
Stay in touch with the person who left
People who leave a workplace, a church or a town are dropped quickly, and it is rarely a decision anyone made.
OngoingFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Apologize to a child properly
Adults rarely apologize downwards, and a child who is never apologized to learns that power decides who was wrong.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Answer a child as if they could understand
Children ask real questions and get deflections. A serious answer is memorable precisely because it is so unusual.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Let a child help badly
Doing it yourself is faster every single time, and the accumulated effect of that is a teenager who cannot cook.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Be in the same room doing nothing
Children disclose things sideways, during dull shared time, not when asked directly how they are.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Put the real details in the invitation
How long, how far to walk, whether there is seating. Missing details mean somebody has to ring and ask.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Check the venue before you invite someone
Asking a disabled friend to check whether somewhere works puts the whole job on the person it affects.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Buy the work rather than praising it
Artists, writers and makers get a great deal of encouragement and very little income. One is a great deal more useful.
5 minutesMore than $10A friend
Not rated yet
Be the house where the friends come
Teenagers need somewhere that is not a bedroom and not a street. Somebody's kitchen is the whole infrastructure.
OngoingUnder $10A friend
Not rated yet
Tell a young person about your own failure
Young people assume competent adults were always competent, which makes their own struggle feel disqualifying.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Write down the thing a child said
Every parent believes they will remember. Almost none do, and the exact words are what disappear first.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Tell someone about money they are entitled to
Billions in benefits, reliefs and refunds go unclaimed every year, mostly by people who do not know they qualify.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Find a chair before anyone asks
Standing is the hidden barrier at parties, queues and exhibitions, and asking for a seat means explaining why.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Praise the effort where the result was bad
A young person who worked hard and failed will be told the result was disappointing by everyone else.
5 minutesFreeA friend1 person did this
Not rated yet
Help with the deposit, not the rent
A one-off lump unlocks a situation. Ongoing help postpones one, and is far harder to stop.
5 minutesMore than $10A friend
Not rated yet