Check the venue before you invite someone
Asking a disabled friend to check whether somewhere works puts the whole job on the person it affects.
Not rated yet
The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
Disabled people spend enormous energy on logistics everyone else never thinks about — ringing ahead, checking step counts, verifying that the accessible entrance is not through a bin store. When a group picks a venue and asks them to confirm it works, that labor is handed to the one person already carrying the most. Doing the checking yourself is the difference between being included and being accommodated.
How
Ring the venue and ask specifics: how many steps, is there a lift and does it work, is the accessible toilet in use as storage, how loud is it. Ask your friend what matters to them first, once, then do the checking every time after that.
Answer if you want. It changes which ideas are shown first.
This is part of
A written list of what else helps in the same situation.
Related
Answer the message you have been avoiding
The longer a reply is owed the harder it gets, and the person waiting has usually assumed something worse than the truth.
5 minutesFreeA friend1 person did this
Plan someone's first week, not their first day
Onboarding is concentrated in day one, which is the day nobody retains anything.
Half an hourFreeA stranger
Talk to the one who married in
Every family gathering has somebody who knows none of the stories, and everybody is assuming somebody else is talking to them.
Half an hourFreeA relative
Refill the one thing you keep rebuying
Pick a single household item and stop buying new packaging for it. One item, permanently, beats a good fortnight.
Half an hourUnder $10The planet
Ask what the hardest part actually is
We assume we know which part of someone's situation is worst, and we are usually wrong.
5 minutesFreeA friend