BeingKind

Apologize to a child properly

Adults rarely apologize downwards, and a child who is never apologized to learns that power decides who was wrong.

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Children are required to apologize constantly and almost never receive one. The asymmetry teaches something corrosive: that being sorry is a function of rank rather than of having done something. An adult apologizing without qualification is startling to a child and is the single clearest way to teach what a real apology looks like, which no amount of instruction achieves.

How

Name what you did, without the explanation about being tired: “I shouted at you and it wasn't fair.” Do not require them to say it is fine. Do not follow it with what they did wrong first.

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