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Kind things to do for a friend
For people you already love and probably tell less often than you think. A surprising number of these are about saying a specific thing rather than doing a big one.
Showing 31–60 of 99 ideas
Talk to the child who is not performing
At any family gathering one child holds the room and another is under the table with a book.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Split the bill by what people can actually pay
Dividing equally is simple and quietly excludes whoever ordered the cheapest thing for a reason.
5 minutesUnder $10A friend
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Put it back exactly where it was
In the home of a blind or partially sighted person, a tidied object is a lost object.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Believe someone about their own symptoms
People with invisible illness spend years being doubted, most often by people who mean well.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Ask what the hardest part actually is
We assume we know which part of someone's situation is worst, and we are usually wrong.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Notice the deadline someone is drowning in
People rarely ask for help at work because asking reads as not coping. Offering removes the admission.
An afternoonFreeA friend
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Say the spare room is available before they need it
People leaving bad situations often have nowhere to go for two nights, and cannot bring themselves to ask.
5 minutesFreeA friend1 person did this
Not rated yet
Scan the box of photographs
Boxes of prints are one house fire or one house clearance from being gone. Scanning them takes an afternoon.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Offer to be the one who tells everyone
After a diagnosis or a death, repeating the news to each person in turn is its own exhausting job.
An afternoonFreeA friend
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Sit in the waiting room with someone
Waiting rooms are where people rehearse the worst version of the news. Company changes the hour entirely.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Send the message that needs no reply
People in crisis stop answering because every message is a task. One that closes itself is a gift.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Check on the one who held it together
At every funeral one person organizes everything. They are the last to be asked how they are, often by months.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Do the thing you already said you would do
An old promise quietly expiring does more damage than a new favor does good. Finish one this week.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Look after the thing they love while they cannot
The plants, the dog, the allotment, the band. Keeping someone's project alive through an illness keeps a version of them alive too.
OngoingFreeA friend
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Keep inviting after the diagnosis
People stop inviting the seriously ill to ordinary things, assuming they cannot come. Being asked is the point.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Make the introduction you keep meaning to make
You know two people who should meet. The introduction takes four minutes and you have owed it for months.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Keep answering after they have left
People lose their whole support network when they change jobs, at exactly the point they most need advice.
OngoingFreeA friend
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Plan something that is not built around drinking
People in recovery, pregnant, on medication or simply not drinking are excluded from most adult socialising by default.
An afternoonUnder $10A friend
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Remember the date everyone else forgot
The anniversary of a death or a miscarriage is carried privately by one or two people and acknowledged by nobody.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Ask what they wish people would stop saying
Everyone going through something hard has a list of well-meant phrases that make it worse. Nobody ever asks.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Follow up on the thing they were dreading
Ask about the interview, the scan, the difficult conversation — on the day it actually happens.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Keep the thing they told you
Being told something in confidence is the most ordinary trust there is, and it is broken casually all the time.
OngoingFreeA friend
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Go to the small thing nobody else will
The exhibition, the first gig, the talk to nine people. Attendance at the small things is what people remember.
An afternoonUnder $10A friend
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Diarise the six-month mark
After a death everyone appears for a fortnight and then vanishes. Month six is when the house is quietest.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Turn up for the move
Helping someone move is the least fun and most remembered favor in the entire catalogue of friendship.
An afternoonFreeA friend
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Share it rather than commenting on it
A comment reaches the person. A share reaches the audience they are actually trying to find.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Tell someone what they taught you years ago
People who shaped how you work almost never find out. A message years later lands harder than one at the time.
5 minutesFreeA friend
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Take the shift that ruins a family day
Someone on your team has small children, a religious holiday or a parent in hospital. The rota does not know that.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Send someone a photo of themselves from years ago
Everybody has pictures of other people sitting unseen on a hard drive. The subject has usually never seen them.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Be the one who actually books it
Everyone agrees they should meet up. Groups fail at the step where somebody names a date and holds it.
5 minutesFreeA friend1 person did this
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