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Kind things to do for a caregiver
For the person looking after someone else. They get asked how the patient is doing every single time, and almost never get asked about themselves — which is the gap most of these aim at.
21 ideas
Tell a carer what you noticed
Carers watch someone decline daily and lose sight of who they were. An outsider's observation gives that back.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Notice the teenager who is doing the caring
Hundreds of thousands of children care for a parent or sibling, and most are invisible to their school and neighbors.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Do the garden of a house that has stopped managing it
An overgrown garden is usually a signal — illness, age, or a household with no spare capacity at all.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
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Invite the child everyone stops inviting
Parents of disabled children describe the birthday party invitations drying up as the loneliest part.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Fill in the benefits form with them
Carer's and disability forms run to dozens of pages and are refused on technicalities. Help with one is worth real money.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Take the other child out
When one child is seriously ill or disabled, their brothers and sisters become invisible to every adult around them.
An afternoonUnder $10A caregiver
Not rated yet
Send the carer the card, not the household
Cards and gifts go to the patient or to the family. The carer receives almost nothing addressed to them alone.
5 minutesUnder $10A caregiver
Not rated yet
Take the paperwork pile away for an afternoon
There is a pile of unopened post in most overwhelmed households, and it grows more frightening the longer it sits.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Talk to the person, not over them
People who are ill or disabled are routinely discussed in the third person while sitting in the room.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Take over dealing with one professional
Carers coordinate between GPs, social workers, pharmacies and schools. Owning one of those relationships lifts real weight.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Have a conversation with no illness in it
A carer's entire social life becomes updates about someone else's health. Talking about anything else is a holiday.
Half an hourFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Bring food in a container they never have to return
A borrowed dish is a small ongoing debt. Food in something disposable is a gift with no strings at all.
Half an hourUnder $10A caregiver
Not rated yet
Cover so the carer can see a doctor themselves
Carers routinely postpone their own health appointments for years because there is nobody to take over.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Give a carer two hours, not sympathy
The one thing carers cannot buy, borrow or manufacture is time when they are not responsible for anyone.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Let a carer complain without fixing anything
Carers are not allowed to be resentful in public. Somewhere to say the unsayable is rarer than practical help.
Half an hourFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Take one night shift
Sleep deprivation is the part of caring that breaks people, and it is the hardest thing to ask anyone for.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
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Commit to one lift a week for a year
A standing weekly lift is worth more than a dozen spontaneous offers, because it can be planned around.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Offer a menu, not an open question
'Let me know if you need anything' puts the work of asking onto the person with least capacity to ask.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Learn one part of the routine properly
A helper who needs supervising is more work than no helper. Learning one task properly changes that.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Ask the carer before you ask about the patient
Every single conversation starts with how the ill person is doing. The carer is asked second, or not at all.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Make a hard-day box for a caregiver
The person looking after someone else is usually the last one anybody looks after.
An afternoonMore than $10A caregiver
Not rated yet