Talk to the person, not over them
People who are ill or disabled are routinely discussed in the third person while sitting in the room.
The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
It happens constantly and is done by kind people without noticing: the question about how they are sleeping goes to the carer while the person is a foot away. It communicates that they have moved from participant to subject. Carers hate it too, because it puts them in the position of speaking for someone who can speak, in front of them.
How
Address them directly and wait, even if the answer is slow or comes through the carer. Sit at their eye level. If they cannot respond verbally, still speak to them and then check with the carer, rather than the reverse.
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