BeingKind

Send the carer the card, not the household

Cards and gifts go to the patient or to the family. The carer receives almost nothing addressed to them alone.

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Why it lands

Attention flows to the ill person, which is right, but it means the carer spends the whole of a holiday facilitating everyone else's contact with someone else. Receiving something addressed only to them, acknowledging what they specifically are doing, is startling in that context — and carers consistently describe a small unexpected gesture as the thing they remembered about that year.

How

Address it to them by name, and say what you are acknowledging rather than sending a generic card: “I know what this year has taken. This is just for you.” Something they can use alone in ten minutes — good coffee, a book — beats anything for the household.

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