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Kind things to do for a stranger

For someone you will probably never see again, or will see constantly and never know. No history to draw on, which makes these the most nerve-wracking and often the most memorable.

Showing 1–30 of 113 ideas

• Leave the accessible toilet alone

  It is not the spare one when there is a queue. For some people it is the only one in the building.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger2 people did this

• Buy two and leave one

  Suspended coffees, paid-forward meals and school-fund top-ups exist. Most people have never noticed the option.

  5 minutesUnder $10A stranger

• Wait for someone who stammers

  Finishing the sentence of someone who stammers is meant to help and does the opposite every time.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Keep including the person whose language it is not

  Groups drift back into the majority language within minutes, and the one person left out never says anything.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger1 person did this

• Buy from the list rather than guessing

  Food banks and shelters publish exactly what they are short of. Donations that ignore it create sorting work.

  Half an hourUnder $10A stranger

• Give the good version away, not the worn-out one

  Charity shops and refuges throw away an enormous amount of what is donated because it was not really a gift.

  Half an hourFreeA stranger

• Notice who eats lunch at their desk every day

  It is sometimes a preference and often the visible end of being outside every group in the building.

  Half an hourFreeA stranger

• Ask something other than where they are from

  For anyone who looks or sounds different, it is the first question of every conversation, forever.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Say something when the room lets it pass

  A remark lands, everyone pretends not to have heard, and the target learns exactly who is in the room.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Tip in cash where the card tip may not reach them

  Card tips are sometimes pooled, taxed through payroll or partly retained. Cash usually goes to the person.

  5 minutesUnder $10A stranger

• Ask what they did before they came here

  A great many people doing low-paid work were engineers, doctors or teachers somewhere their qualifications do not count.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Caption the video you posted

  Captions serve deaf viewers, people in loud places, and anyone watching with the sound off — which is most people.

  Half an hourFreeA stranger

• Pay the small invoice the day it arrives

  Late payment is the main reason small suppliers fail. Paying on receipt costs you nothing and can matter enormously.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Never park across a dropped curb

  A car over a dropped curb can strand a wheelchair user on the wrong side of a road with no other crossing.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Plan someone's first week, not their first day

  Onboarding is concentrated in day one, which is the day nobody retains anything.

  Half an hourFreeA stranger

• Know when their important days are

  Everyone knows when Christmas is. Far fewer know when Eid, Diwali or Rosh Hashanah fall, or acknowledge them.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Explain the rule nobody writes down

  Every workplace, school and country runs on conventions that insiders cannot see and newcomers cannot guess.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Ignore the assistance dog

  A working dog that gets distracted can miss a seizure warning or walk its handler into traffic.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Offer to put it in writing

  Spoken instructions vanish. For anyone with hearing loss, dyslexia or brain fog they may not have landed at all.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Warn someone what the phrase actually means

  'We should do this again sometime' means different things in different places, and getting it wrong is painful.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Learn to say their name properly

  People with unfamiliar names spend their lives being mispronounced and told it does not matter.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Say what you are pointing at

  'It's over there' is useless to someone who cannot see you gesturing. Words cost nothing extra.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Ask before you help, then do what they say

  Grabbing a wheelchair or an arm without asking is both dangerous and startlingly common.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Say keep the change before they count it

  A small overpayment is worth more as a decision you announce than as coins you leave behind.

  5 minutesUnder $10A stranger

• Learn five signs and use them

  Hello, thank you, sorry, please, your name. Five signs is enough to change an encounter completely.

  Half an hourFreeA stranger

• Move your trolley out of the aisle

  A blocked aisle is an inconvenience to most people and an impassable wall to a wheelchair or a scooter.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Tell a teacher what they did for your child

  Teachers hear from parents almost exclusively about problems. Specific praise is rare enough to be kept for years.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Turn the one-off donation into a standing order

  Charities can plan against regular income and cannot plan against appeals. Five pounds monthly beats sixty at Christmas.

  5 minutesMore than $10A stranger

• Leave credit on the machine behind you

  A parking meter, a laundry card, a photo booth. The next person gets a small unearned piece of luck.

  5 minutesFreeA stranger

• Be the reference someone has no way of getting

  Renting, banking and jobs all require a history that anyone newly arrived by definition does not have.

  Half an hourFreeA stranger