Ask something other than where they are from
For anyone who looks or sounds different, it is the first question of every conversation, forever.
The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
The question is usually asked with genuine interest and is exhausting precisely because it is universal — it arrives before the name, before the job, before anything else, and it frames the conversation around difference. People who have lived somewhere for thirty years still get it weekly. Asking literally anything else first is noticed immediately and gratefully.
How
Lead with what anyone else would be asked — what they do, how they know the host, what they think of the thing you are both at. If origin comes up naturally later, fine. Never follow an answer with “no, but originally?”
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