Diarise the six-month mark
After a death everyone appears for a fortnight and then vanishes. Month six is when the house is quietest.
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Why it lands
Grief support follows a curve that has nothing to do with grief. The funeral generates enormous attention, then people return to their own lives, and by month six the bereaved person is expected to be functioning while actually being at their worst — the shock has worn off and the permanence has arrived. Turning up then is remembered precisely because the calendar has emptied.
How
Put a reminder in your phone now, dated six months out, with their name on it. When it fires, do not ask how they are — say “I was thinking about Michael today” and offer something specific and small. A repeating annual reminder for the date itself is better still.
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