Praise the effort where the result was bad
A young person who worked hard and failed will be told the result was disappointing by everyone else.
The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
Results get all the commentary, and a teenager who revised properly and still got a poor grade receives the same response as one who did nothing. The lesson learned is that effort is not observed, only outcomes, which is exactly the belief that stops people trying difficult things. Naming the effort specifically, when the result did not justify it, is the version that counts.
How
Be concrete about what you actually saw: “You worked every evening for three weeks. I watched you do it.” Do not attach it to reassurance about next time, which turns it into a pep talk about the result again.
What happened when someone did it
Told them to keep at it since the result doesn't negate their hard work.
Ravi
Related
Tell someone what you actually earn
Pay secrecy is maintained by people like you staying quiet, and it costs the people with least information the most.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Leave a note for your mail carrier
The person who walks to your door most days almost never hears from the people who live behind it.
5 minutesFreeA stranger2 people did this
Ask what the hardest part actually is
We assume we know which part of someone's situation is worst, and we are usually wrong.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Tell a carer what you noticed
Carers watch someone decline daily and lose sight of who they were. An outsider's observation gives that back.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Add alt text to your images
An image without a description is a blank space to anyone using a screen reader. Writing one takes twenty seconds.
5 minutesFreeA stranger