Keep sending the birthday card after the divorce
Children lose half their extended family in a separation, usually without anyone deciding that should happen.
The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
When adults separate, the cards, the invitations and the interest from one side simply stop. The child experiences it as being dropped by people who were family last year, and no explanation is offered because none of the adults think of themselves as having made a decision. Continuing to send a card is a small act that tells a child they were not contingent on the marriage.
How
Keep sending it to the child directly, at whatever address they are at. Do not include messages about the other parent or ask questions about the situation. Just the card, every year, as before.
This is part of
A written list of what else helps in the same situation.
Related
Tell someone what you actually earn
Pay secrecy is maintained by people like you staying quiet, and it costs the people with least information the most.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Leave a note for your mail carrier
The person who walks to your door most days almost never hears from the people who live behind it.
5 minutesFreeA stranger2 people did this
Ask what the hardest part actually is
We assume we know which part of someone's situation is worst, and we are usually wrong.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Tell a carer what you noticed
Carers watch someone decline daily and lose sight of who they were. An outsider's observation gives that back.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Add alt text to your images
An image without a description is a blank space to anyone using a screen reader. Writing one takes twenty seconds.
5 minutesFreeA stranger