Ask the second question
Most conversations stop at the first answer. The interesting part is one question further in, and almost nobody goes.
The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
Social convention treats the first answer as sufficient and moving on as polite. But the first answer is nearly always the rehearsed one — fine, busy, good thanks. The second question signals that the enquiry was real rather than ritual, which is what gives someone permission to say the true thing. People consistently describe being asked twice as the moment they felt someone was actually listening.
How
Take the specific noun from their answer and ask about that: they say work is busy, you ask what is making it busy. Do not follow with a story about yourself, which is the standard move and closes the door immediately.
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