Tell them the true answer when they ask for one
Reflexive reassurance is easier and less useful. Someone asking properly usually wants the real view.
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The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
Friends default to reassurance because it is kind in the moment and costs nothing. But the person asking whether the business plan holds up, or whether they are being unreasonable, is often asking precisely because everyone else has been reassuring. The friend willing to give the honest answer, carefully, is the one whose praise later means something — reassurance devalues itself.
How
Check what they want first: “Do you want me to agree with you or tell you what I think?” If it is the second, be specific and about the thing rather than about them, and say what you would do. Then back them whatever they decide.
Answer if you want. It changes which ideas are shown first.
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