Say the compliment you thought but did not say
Most admiring thoughts about people we love are never spoken aloud, on the assumption that they already know.
The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
People consistently underestimate how much others value hearing praise from them, because we assume it will be awkward or already understood. Neither is usually true. The specific things we admire about our friends are exactly the things they are least confident about, and hearing it named by someone who knows them well lands differently from anything else.
How
Be specific and recent rather than general: “The way you handled your mum's situation this year was extraordinary and I don't think anyone has said so.” Do not attach it to a request or a goodbye, which turns it into a formality.
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