Turn up when there is no occasion
Birthdays and Christmas are obligations. A Tuesday is a choice, and everybody can tell the difference.
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Why it lands
Visits that cluster around fixed dates carry an unspoken message: you are on the list. A visit on an ordinary day carries the opposite, and older people read that distinction accurately because they have had decades of the first kind. It is also practical — the calendar visits are usually crowded, performed and catered, and nobody says anything real at them. Tuesday has room in it.
How
Pick a day with nothing attached to it and say you are coming. Bring nothing, or bring the shopping. Do not bring a project. Two hours of nothing in particular is the whole point, and leaving before you are tired of each other makes the next one easier.
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