Make the first move after a long silence
Most estrangements are maintained by both sides waiting for the other, each assuming they are the wronged party.
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Why it lands
Long silences are rarely sustained by anger — they are sustained by the belief that reaching out first concedes something. Both people usually hold that belief simultaneously, which is why nothing happens for years. Someone has to absorb the risk, and the person who does almost never regrets it, while the people who wait describe it as one of the things they regret most.
How
Do not open with the history. A short message with no demand: “I was thinking about you. I'd like to hear how you are, if you'd like that.” Accept whatever comes back, including nothing, and do not follow up with a second message explaining the first.
Answer if you want. It changes which ideas are shown first.
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