Say out loud that it is not their fault
Front-line staff absorb anger for decisions made by people the customer will never meet.
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The BeingKind editorsPublished How this is written
Why it lands
The person on the desk did not set the refund policy, cancel the train or design the system that lost your booking, and they are the only person available to be angry at. Most of them are shouted at several times a week for this. Naming it explicitly — that you know the problem is structural and they are just the one standing there — is startling because it almost never happens, and it visibly changes the conversation.
How
Say it first, before the problem: “I know this isn't you and I'm not going to take it out on you.” Then describe the issue calmly. If it cannot be fixed, say thank you anyway — the thanks after a failure is the part that lands.
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