BeingKind

Collection

When money is the problem

The obstacle is almost never the amount. It is being seen to need it. Most of this collection is about how to move money or remove a cost without requiring anybody to ask, explain, or be grateful in public.

Two of these are not about giving money at all. Telling someone about money they are already owed, and finding the subscriptions quietly draining an account, both put more in someone's hands than most people can afford to give — and neither one is charity, which is exactly why they are easier to accept.

10 things you can do

In roughly the order they tend to be needed.

  1. Billions in support goes unclaimed because nobody ever told the person it existed.

    Tell someone about money they are entitled to

    Billions in benefits, reliefs and refunds go unclaimed every year, mostly by people who do not know they qualify.

    Half an hourFreeA friend

  2. An hour of admin, and the money comes back every month afterwards.

    Find the subscriptions someone forgot about

    Most households pay for several things nobody uses. Finding them is an hour's work and a permanent saving.

    An afternoonFreeA friend

  3. An even split is the most common way a group quietly prices somebody out of seeing their friends.

    Split the bill by what people can actually pay

    Dividing equally is simple and quietly excludes whoever ordered the cheapest thing for a reason.

    5 minutesUnder $10A friend

  4. Covering somebody without announcing it is a skill worth having.

    Quietly cover the person who is skint

    Someone stops coming out because they cannot afford it, and tells everyone they are busy instead.

    5 minutesMore than $10A friend

  5. Calling it a loan when you never expect it back creates a debt that makes it harder to accept.

    Give money without making it a loan

    A loan between friends creates a debt that outlasts the need. A gift, clearly stated, does not.

    5 minutesMore than $10A friend

  6. The thing they dropped first is usually the thing they would miss most.

    Quietly pay for the thing they canceled

    Money is the first thing to go in a crisis, and the cancellations are small, private and cumulatively demoralising.

    5 minutesMore than $10A friend

  7. Children know exactly who has the wrong kit. This is invisible from the outside and obvious to them.

    Quietly pay for a child's kit

    The boots, the instrument, the trip. Children drop out of things because of cost, and nobody is told why.

    5 minutesMore than $10A neighbor

  8. Always paying makes the relationship one-directional, which is its own cost.

    Let someone pay for you

    Always insisting on paying can be a way of staying the one who gives. Accepting is its own kindness.

    5 minutesFreeA friend

  9. Some doors need a person, not money, and nobody thinks to offer.

    Be the reference someone has no way of getting

    Renting, banking and jobs all require a history that anyone newly arrived by definition does not have.

    Half an hourFreeA stranger

  10. If you pay anyone self-employed, this is the most useful thing on the page and it costs you nothing.

    Pay the small invoice the day it arrives

    Late payment is the main reason small suppliers fail. Paying on receipt costs you nothing and can matter enormously.

    5 minutesFreeA stranger