The library
Kind things you can actually do
Every one of these is specific enough to do today. No grand gestures, no fundraising page, nothing that needs a free weekend.
293 ideas. Try a situation — grief, new baby, neighbor, hospital.
Know roughly what is going on but not what to search for? Start from a situation — fourteen short lists of what actually helps, from somebody new on the street to somebody having the worst year of their life.
Showing 211–240 of 293 ideas
Say that you do not know what to say
Most people say nothing at all because they are waiting to think of the right thing. There isn't one.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Run an afternoon where things get fixed
Most broken things are thrown away for want of one person with a soldering iron and an hour.
An afternoonFreeA neighbor
Let a carer complain without fixing anything
Carers are not allowed to be resentful in public. Somewhere to say the unsayable is rarer than practical help.
Half an hourFreeA caregiver
Name the person when the feedback is good
Complaints always name the individual. Praise almost always says 'the staff', which is unusable by a manager.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Take one night shift
Sleep deprivation is the part of caring that breaks people, and it is the hardest thing to ask anyone for.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
Answer the question you just solved, publicly
You spent two hours fixing something. The forum thread that nearly helped you has no answer on it.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Be the one who keeps the group chat going
Group chats die when everyone waits for someone else to post. Somebody has to be willing to look keen.
OngoingFreeA friend
Let someone pay for you
Always insisting on paying can be a way of staying the one who gives. Accepting is its own kindness.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Read about it so they do not have to explain
People with a rare diagnosis spend their lives educating everyone around them. Arriving informed is a rest.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Watch the empty house on your street
Probate and repossession leave houses empty for months. A neighbor noticing is usually the only security they have.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Find out who is not allowed to accept tips
Many of the people who help you most are barred from taking money. Something small they can accept works instead.
5 minutesUnder $10A stranger
Tell someone their free thing was useful
People maintaining open resources get bug reports and complaints. They almost never hear that it worked.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Find the specific service, not the general advice
Telling someone to get help is useless. Finding the actual local service with opening hours is not.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Say out loud that it is not their fault
Front-line staff absorb anger for decisions made by people the customer will never meet.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Keep visiting the widow after the first year
Attention to a bereaved spouse drops sharply after twelve months, which is roughly when the reality lands.
OngoingFreeA neighbor
Write down who on the street owns what
A street already contains every tool anyone needs. What it lacks is a list of where they are.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Stand at the door of whatever you go to
Most people who try a group once and never return leave because nobody spoke to them in the first four minutes.
Half an hourFreeA stranger
Clear the path next door before your own
Snow and ice are a broken hip for an older neighbor and an inconvenience for you. The order you clear in matters.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Cook for twelve, invite near-strangers
Adults stop making new friends largely because nobody hosts. A table is the cheapest social infrastructure there is.
An afternoonMore than $10A friend
Stack it the way they would
Clearing your table is common. Stacking it the way the person collecting it actually needs is rarer and more useful.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Set up a standing childcare swap
Two families alternating one evening a month gives both of them something neither could otherwise afford.
OngoingFreeA friend
Take the photograph nobody is taking
In the last months of an illness, families stop taking pictures. Afterwards those are the ones they want most.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Ask what stopped when the driving did
Giving up driving usually ends several activities at once, quietly, and nobody connects the two.
OngoingFreeA neighbor
Commit to one lift a week for a year
A standing weekly lift is worth more than a dozen spontaneous offers, because it can be planned around.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
Use the dead person's name
People avoid the name to protect the grieving. The effect is that the person disappears from every conversation.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Find out which house has the new baby
New parents are at home, awake at odd hours, and more isolated than anyone assumes. A knock is worth more at week six than week one.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Say whose idea it actually was
Ideas get repeated by louder people and absorbed by the room. Ten words of attribution puts it back where it belongs.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Ask the second question
Most conversations stop at the first answer. The interesting part is one question further in, and almost nobody goes.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Check the thing before you share the outrage
Thirty seconds of verification prevents you becoming the reason a false story reached another thousand people.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Volunteer for the boring part
Every group has people who want to plan and nobody who wants to do the accounts or stack the chairs.
OngoingFreeA stranger