Browse
Kind things to do from home
From your kitchen table or your front step. Several of these are aimed at people who come to your door regularly and have never been thanked by anyone inside it.
Showing 61–90 of 122 ideas
Keep inviting after the diagnosis
People stop inviting the seriously ill to ordinary things, assuming they cannot come. Being asked is the point.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Take over dealing with one professional
Carers coordinate between GPs, social workers, pharmacies and schools. Owning one of those relationships lifts real weight.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
Find out who is on their own at Christmas
People will not volunteer that they have nowhere to go. The question has to be asked directly and early.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Answer the message you have been avoiding
The longer a reply is owed the harder it gets, and the person waiting has usually assumed something worse than the truth.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Ask an older person to teach you something
Being useful is the thing most often lost in older age. Being taught is a better gift than being helped.
An afternoonUnder $10A neighbor
Ask what they wish people would stop saying
Everyone going through something hard has a list of well-meant phrases that make it worse. Nobody ever asks.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Ask an older person what they used to do
Retired people are asked about their health and their grandchildren. Almost nobody asks what they were good at.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Keep the thing they told you
Being told something in confidence is the most ordinary trust there is, and it is broken casually all the time.
OngoingFreeA friend
Have a conversation with no illness in it
A carer's entire social life becomes updates about someone else's health. Talking about anything else is a holiday.
Half an hourFreeA caregiver
Bring food in a container they never have to return
A borrowed dish is a small ongoing debt. Food in something disposable is a gift with no strings at all.
Half an hourUnder $10A caregiver
Cover so the carer can see a doctor themselves
Carers routinely postpone their own health appointments for years because there is nobody to take over.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Write up the process nobody has written up
Renewing a visa, appealing a decision, navigating a diagnosis. Somebody is about to do it with no map.
An afternoonFreeA stranger
Diarise the six-month mark
After a death everyone appears for a fortnight and then vanishes. Month six is when the house is quietest.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Face them instead of raising your voice
Shouting distorts speech and singles someone out. Facing them and slowing down works far better.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Offer to water while they are away
Offering before a holiday is worth far more than offering after. It also quietly tells a burglar the house is occupied.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Invite the whole household, not just the one you know
Partners and teenagers of a newcomer are often more isolated than the person who has the job or the class.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Teach six people the thing you can do
Most useful skills are held by people who do not think of themselves as qualified to teach them.
An afternoonUnder $10A stranger
Send someone a photo of themselves from years ago
Everybody has pictures of other people sitting unseen on a hard drive. The subject has usually never seen them.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Give a carer two hours, not sympathy
The one thing carers cannot buy, borrow or manufacture is time when they are not responsible for anyone.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Quietly pay for the thing they canceled
Money is the first thing to go in a crisis, and the cancellations are small, private and cumulatively demoralising.
5 minutesMore than $10A friend
Sit down properly when you visit
A visitor who stays standing signals they are about to leave, and the whole visit is spent anticipating it.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Tell a parent something good about their child
Parents hear from school when there is a problem. Positive observations from another adult are rare and enormously reassuring.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Ask about the hobby you find boring
Everyone has an enthusiasm their friends politely do not ask about. Asking properly once is a gift.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Take the parcel in, and say so straight away
Taking a delivery in is common. Telling them immediately is what stops it being a small anxiety in someone's evening.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Apologize without explaining yourself
Most apologies contain a defense, which converts them into an argument the other person now has to have.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Say that you do not know what to say
Most people say nothing at all because they are waiting to think of the right thing. There isn't one.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Let a carer complain without fixing anything
Carers are not allowed to be resentful in public. Somewhere to say the unsayable is rarer than practical help.
Half an hourFreeA caregiver
Take one night shift
Sleep deprivation is the part of caring that breaks people, and it is the hardest thing to ask anyone for.
OngoingFreeA caregiver
Read about it so they do not have to explain
People with a rare diagnosis spend their lives educating everyone around them. Arriving informed is a rest.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Find out who is not allowed to accept tips
Many of the people who help you most are barred from taking money. Something small they can accept works instead.
5 minutesUnder $10A stranger