The library
Kind things you can actually do
Every one of these is specific enough to do today. No grand gestures, no fundraising page, nothing that needs a free weekend.
293 ideas. Try a situation — grief, new baby, neighbor, hospital.
Know roughly what is going on but not what to search for? Start from a situation — fourteen short lists of what actually helps, from somebody new on the street to somebody having the worst year of their life.
Showing 31–60 of 293 ideas
Plan someone's first week, not their first day
Onboarding is concentrated in day one, which is the day nobody retains anything.
Half an hourFreeA stranger
Teach a child something genuinely useful
Changing a tire, wiring a plug, making one good meal. Competence is a form of confidence that lasts.
An afternoonUnder $10A friend
Invite the new family twice
The first invitation is often declined out of uncertainty. The second is the one that establishes it was real.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Stay in touch with the person who left
People who leave a workplace, a church or a town are dropped quickly, and it is rarely a decision anyone made.
OngoingFreeA friend
Know when their important days are
Everyone knows when Christmas is. Far fewer know when Eid, Diwali or Rosh Hashanah fall, or acknowledge them.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Check whether someone is on a social tariff
Discounted broadband, water and energy tariffs exist for low-income households and take-up is tiny.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Explain the rule nobody writes down
Every workplace, school and country runs on conventions that insiders cannot see and newcomers cannot guess.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Apologize to a child properly
Adults rarely apologize downwards, and a child who is never apologized to learns that power decides who was wrong.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Ignore the assistance dog
A working dog that gets distracted can miss a seizure warning or walk its handler into traffic.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Offer to put it in writing
Spoken instructions vanish. For anyone with hearing loss, dyslexia or brain fog they may not have landed at all.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Warn someone what the phrase actually means
'We should do this again sometime' means different things in different places, and getting it wrong is painful.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Ask someone to teach you their food
Being asked to share something from home reverses the usual direction, where the newcomer receives and thanks.
An afternoonUnder $10A neighbor
Answer a child as if they could understand
Children ask real questions and get deflections. A serious answer is memorable precisely because it is so unusual.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Let a child help badly
Doing it yourself is faster every single time, and the accumulated effect of that is a teenager who cannot cook.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Learn to say their name properly
People with unfamiliar names spend their lives being mispronounced and told it does not matter.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Be a reliable adult for a child who is not yours
Every resilient childhood account includes at least one adult outside the family who was consistently there.
OngoingFreeA neighbor
Say what you are pointing at
'It's over there' is useless to someone who cannot see you gesturing. Words cost nothing extra.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Be in the same room doing nothing
Children disclose things sideways, during dull shared time, not when asked directly how they are.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Put the real details in the invitation
How long, how far to walk, whether there is seating. Missing details mean somebody has to ring and ask.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Check the venue before you invite someone
Asking a disabled friend to check whether somewhere works puts the whole job on the person it affects.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Buy the work rather than praising it
Artists, writers and makers get a great deal of encouragement and very little income. One is a great deal more useful.
5 minutesMore than $10A friend
Ask before you help, then do what they say
Grabbing a wheelchair or an arm without asking is both dangerous and startlingly common.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Move your bin off the pavement
Bins, bikes and parked cars narrow pavements to the point where a wheelchair has to go into the road.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Say keep the change before they count it
A small overpayment is worth more as a decision you announce than as coins you leave behind.
5 minutesUnder $10A stranger
Be the house where the friends come
Teenagers need somewhere that is not a bedroom and not a street. Somebody's kitchen is the whole infrastructure.
OngoingUnder $10A friend
Learn five signs and use them
Hello, thank you, sorry, please, your name. Five signs is enough to change an encounter completely.
Half an hourFreeA stranger
Tell a young person about your own failure
Young people assume competent adults were always competent, which makes their own struggle feel disqualifying.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Quietly pay for a child's kit
The boots, the instrument, the trip. Children drop out of things because of cost, and nobody is told why.
5 minutesMore than $10A neighbor
Move your trolley out of the aisle
A blocked aisle is an inconvenience to most people and an impassable wall to a wheelchair or a scooter.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Write down the thing a child said
Every parent believes they will remember. Almost none do, and the exact words are what disappear first.
5 minutesFreeA friend