The library
Kind things you can actually do
Every one of these is specific enough to do today. No grand gestures, no fundraising page, nothing that needs a free weekend.
323 ideas. Try a situation — grief, new baby, neighbor, hospital.
Know roughly what is going on but not what to search for? Start from a situation — fourteen short lists of what actually helps, from somebody new on the street to somebody having the worst year of their life.
Showing 271–300 of 323 ideas
Ask before you borrow, not after
The drill, the ladder, the jump leads. Asking first turns a favor into a relationship instead of an awkward return.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Not rated yet
Offer a menu, not an open question
'Let me know if you need anything' puts the work of asking onto the person with least capacity to ask.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Write the reference properly, or say you cannot
A tepid reference is worse than none, and the person asking has no way to know which one they are getting.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Send the thing that reminded you of them
A link with 'this is so you' is proof you thought about someone when they were not there. That is the whole message.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Make the first move after a long silence
Most estrangements are maintained by both sides waiting for the other, each assuming they are the wronged party.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Say it publicly, not just in the DM
Private praise is nice. Public praise is a credential that can be pointed at, quoted and used.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Learn one part of the routine properly
A helper who needs supervising is more work than no helper. Learning one task properly changes that.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Leave something out for the refuse crew at Christmas
The crew that has taken your rubbish every week for a year passes your house in the dark in December.
5 minutesUnder $10A stranger
Not rated yet
Translate the letter someone cannot read
An official letter in a language you do not read is frightening in a way that is hard to convey.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Not rated yet
Notice who has not spoken
In most meetings two or three people never speak, and the reason is almost never that they have nothing to say.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Not rated yet
Answer the beginner's question kindly
The tone of the first reply someone gets determines whether they ask a second question, ever.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Not rated yet
Tell the owner, not just the internet
A small shop owner may never see the review. Saying it to their face is the version that reaches them.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Not rated yet
Offer to do the paperwork after a death
Bereavement comes with dozens of phone calls in which you explain, repeatedly, that someone has died.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Give to the unfashionable thing
Money follows stories. Drainage, insurance and boiler repairs raise nothing and close more organizations than anything else.
5 minutesMore than $10An organization
Not rated yet
Warn the street before the building work starts
Scaffolding and skips are tolerable when you knew they were coming and infuriating when they simply appear.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Not rated yet
Turn up for the team that is losing
Supporting anything is easy when it is going well. The useful attendance is in a bad season.
OngoingUnder $10A friend
Not rated yet
Do one shopping run for three households
A single trip that collects three lists costs you ten extra minutes and saves three people an afternoon.
An afternoonFreeA neighbor
Not rated yet
Tell someone about the mistake you made
Sharing your own error is more useful than any advice, and far rarer, because it costs something to say.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Quietly cover the person who is skint
Someone stops coming out because they cannot afford it, and tells everyone they are busy instead.
5 minutesMore than $10A friend
Not rated yet
Tell someone their tire is going down
A soft tire spotted in a car park is thirty seconds of mild awkwardness against a blowout at seventy.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Not rated yet
Do the jobs that need a ladder
Light bulbs, smoke alarms, curtain hooks. A short list of small jobs becomes impossible at the same time.
Half an hourUnder $10A neighbor
Not rated yet
Say the compliment you thought but did not say
Most admiring thoughts about people we love are never spoken aloud, on the assumption that they already know.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Sit with whoever came on their own
At any gathering there is someone standing at the edge working out how soon they can leave.
Half an hourFreeA stranger
Not rated yet
Tell them the true answer when they ask for one
Reflexive reassurance is easier and less useful. Someone asking properly usually wants the real view.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Send the criticism privately and the praise publicly
The default is backwards: people praise in private and criticize where everyone can see.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Not rated yet
Ask the carer before you ask about the patient
Every single conversation starts with how the ill person is doing. The carer is asked second, or not at all.
5 minutesFreeA caregiver
Not rated yet
Check whether the heating is actually on
Many older people ration heating in silence. Cold homes cause a large, measurable share of winter deaths.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Not rated yet
Record them telling one story
Families consistently say the thing they wish they had is a recording of the voice, not more photographs.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet
Ask the person crying in public if they are okay
Everyone walks past. The calculation people make — that privacy is kinder — is usually wrong.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Not rated yet
Turn up and do the washing up
In a house dealing with a crisis, the visible undone tasks are a constant reproach nobody has the energy for.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Not rated yet