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Kind things that cost nothing
No money at all. Attention, a few minutes, and occasionally the willingness to say one slightly awkward sentence. Most of the best things on this site are in here, which is not an accident — money is rarely the scarce ingredient.
Showing 151–180 of 251 ideas
Turn up for the move
Helping someone move is the least fun and most remembered favor in the entire catalogue of friendship.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Share it rather than commenting on it
A comment reaches the person. A share reaches the audience they are actually trying to find.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Face them instead of raising your voice
Shouting distorts speech and singles someone out. Facing them and slowing down works far better.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Say something kind to a parent having a bad time
A toddler melting down in public means a parent convinced that everyone is judging them. Usually everyone is sympathetic and silent.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Start something that meets weekly
Loneliness is rarely solved by an event. It is solved by something recurring that requires no arrangement.
OngoingFreeA neighbor
Offer to take the photo for the group
Someone is always missing from the picture, and it is usually the person who organized the trip.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Tell someone what they taught you years ago
People who shaped how you work almost never find out. A message years later lands harder than one at the time.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Offer to water while they are away
Offering before a holiday is worth far more than offering after. It also quietly tells a burglar the house is occupied.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Invite the whole household, not just the one you know
Partners and teenagers of a newcomer are often more isolated than the person who has the job or the class.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Take the shift that ruins a family day
Someone on your team has small children, a religious holiday or a parent in hospital. The rota does not know that.
An afternoonFreeA friend
Pay the small place in cash
Card fees take two to three per cent from a business whose margin may be five. Cash is a quiet discount you can choose to give.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Send someone a photo of themselves from years ago
Everybody has pictures of other people sitting unseen on a hard drive. The subject has usually never seen them.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Be the one who actually books it
Everyone agrees they should meet up. Groups fail at the step where somebody names a date and holds it.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Stay on the call after the bad news
Redundancies and rejections are usually delivered and then immediately followed by everyone logging off.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Introduce two neighbors who should know each other
You often know two people on the same street who would be useful or good company to each other, and who have never spoken.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Give the introduction, not the advice
When a friend is stuck, the name of someone who has done it is worth more than your opinion about it.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Give a local group one evening
Small charities and clubs cannot afford the professional help they need, and the gap is usually one evening wide.
An afternoonFreeA stranger
Give a carer two hours, not sympathy
The one thing carers cannot buy, borrow or manufacture is time when they are not responsible for anyone.
An afternoonFreeA caregiver
Take a child to meet an older neighbor
Both groups are more isolated than they were a generation ago, and the barrier is that neither can initiate.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Keep a child's routine running
When adults are consumed by an emergency, children lose the ordinary things that tell them the world still works.
OngoingFreeA friend
Slow down without announcing it
Matching someone's pace is easy. Doing it without commenting on it is what preserves their dignity.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Hold the door a few seconds longer
The standard distance for holding a door is about two seconds. Extending it to six costs nothing and is noticed every time.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Sit down properly when you visit
A visitor who stays standing signals they are about to leave, and the whole visit is spent anticipating it.
Half an hourFreeA neighbor
Tell a parent something good about their child
Parents hear from school when there is a problem. Positive observations from another adult are rare and enormously reassuring.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Offer to carry the heavy thing
Someone is struggling with a suitcase, a box or shopping. Most people look away rather than risk offering.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Ask about the hobby you find boring
Everyone has an enthusiasm their friends politely do not ask about. Asking properly once is a gift.
Half an hourFreeA friend
Bring the new person into the group conversation
A circle of people talking is physically closed. Turning your body is the whole mechanism for opening it.
5 minutesFreeA stranger
Take the parcel in, and say so straight away
Taking a delivery in is common. Telling them immediately is what stops it being a small anxiety in someone's evening.
5 minutesFreeA neighbor
Apologize without explaining yourself
Most apologies contain a defense, which converts them into an argument the other person now has to have.
5 minutesFreeA friend
Say that you do not know what to say
Most people say nothing at all because they are waiting to think of the right thing. There isn't one.
5 minutesFreeA friend